Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Late Night Ponderings

Friends and Family,

Life has been somewhat difficult in the following month since moving to our apartment. To no avail I have been attempting to control attacks of anxiety and depression that have plagued me almost daily until about two weeks ago. I have struggled to complete the most mundane of tasks; washing dishes was a nightmare, laundry: forget about it, and sleep seemed to elude me. Nothing I tried helped, often times I would find myself crawling into bed at 4 or 5 in the morning only to rise a few hours later for the work day or to spend a small amount of time with my husband before he headed to work for the day. Night time has been both my friend and my enemy.

Two weeks ago today I had one of the worst panic attacks I have ever suffered, leaving my husband to cope with a spouse that could not be consoled no matter what he did. I felt it coming all day long and prayed with everything in me that it would be done and gone before David returned home for the day after working. I wanted so desperately for him to be away so that he would not witness the uncontrolled crying that occurs. Thankfully however he was home and his presence was, even in the most tumultuous of moments, helpful. He embraced me when I needed a hug, brought me water and even attempted to help slow my breathing with a paper bag. I can only thank God for the support he offered me when I wanted it the least.

The next morning I was scheduled to see a doctor for some stomach issues I have been struggling with (mostly due to the anxiety) and I asked about what he could possibly do to help me with the depression and anxiety. That was simply a bust and the doctor would not listen to me as I listed off my medical history. He refused to treat my PCOS in a manner that would be helpful and instead chose to test me for diabetes; knowing full well that I was not a diabetic I agreed anyway hoping he would see my slightly elevated blood glucose level and help me to treat my PCOS in an appropriate manner. Oh well, all I can say is that Doctor Kim was a quack and wouldn't listen. All he did was preach about my weight!

I called my parents and spoke with them about what had been happening over the last several days and the fragile emotional state I had been in. Thank GOD that my mom and dad offered to help me by getting the right treatment so that I could see a doctor and begin treating my anxiety and depression (that I should also mention is directly related to my PCOS) in an appropriate manner. I can honestly say now that thanks to the medication the doctor perscribed (thankfully on the discount med list!) has been doing wonders and I am finally starting to feel like myself again.

One thing I am learning through this experience is that sometimes you have to swallow your pride and ask for help. Thats what family and friends are for. I know its embarrassing, but its certainly a humbling thing for me as well. That being said I am also learning to finally come to terms with the fact that I suffer from a disease that I will have to manage all of my life. Its not fair, and its not fun, but God only gives us what we can handle and I truly believe that he has placed the right people in my life to help me cope with the uncertainty this disease holds. Maybe one day they will find a cure for PCOS and depression and we'll all be in a better state, but until then, I have to do my part to stay well and to manage the disease the best that I can. I need to educate myself as much as possible on the disease and how I can manage it in a way that will have as little as possible impact on my spouse and eventually our children.

I love you all and I thank you from the depths of my heart for your love and support over the last seven months. Your thoughts and prayers are heard and felt! We ask that you continue to pray for us as we grow and face challenges. Pray that God will continue to strengthen our marriage and that David and I do our best to do his will. We pray that we can love like Christ loved his church.

Sending you all hugs and kisses!

Sarah, David, Lucy and Odin

Sunday, January 24, 2010

God's Many Blessings

Hello Friends and Family!

Its been a while! I have a lot to update you on!! :-)

David and I have both been busy working and spending time together when we can! Of course lately our schedules have been what seems like the opposite of each other and there has not been a lot of time together. The good news is we have been able to have someone here with the dogs at almost all times. Its nice to know they are getting the extra attention.

Life has been largely uneventful over the last few weeks until Thursday evening. All I can say is wow!! God has been so good to us and I truly can't complain! :-) We decided to head out to Johnson that evening to check David's mailbox on campus. We were expecting a piece of mail to arrive there and upon our checking the mail box we found a nearly $800 check from the school to David! We were thrilled to know we were going to have some extra money!! We immediately left the school and headed home.

Of course our blessings only got bigger from there! :-) While driving home just a little bit North of the school a tree fell right in front of us! I saw it falling out of the corner of my eye and David did not have enough time to react with the car. We just bumped right over it! If we had been driving any faster it would have smashed into the back of our car! If we would have been driving any slower we would have most likely hit it! We have no explanation as to how we made it over the tree. Simply put we believe the Lord intervened on our behalf! We checked the car and nothing was wrong with it! Just a slight scratch on the front bumper! We both were laughing and couldn't help but say to each other "Did that just happen?!"

The blessings don't stop there! Since returning home from Christmas I have been sick off and on for the entire month of January. During the whole time I have had a nasty cough that would not go away! It was annoying at best and painful. My ribs and whole body were achy and I felt terrible! I finally had enough on Friday when the cough hit its peak. My ears were hurting and my nose was stuffed up. I called David and I went to the doctor to find out I had a double ear infection, sinus infection and Bronchitis! (Thank God we had the extra money since we don't have health insurance!) Sure explained why I had been feeling so crummy!!

Of course I also received good news from my grandmother yesterday! Her cancer is dormant for the time being and we are praying that it stays that way! Thank you all for your many prayers and concerns!! :-) They have been answered! We don't know how long the cancer will stay quiet and we can only pray that it is for a long time, but we know God has been faithful in caring for my grandmother so far and pray he continues to do so!

Like I said, its been a God filled week! :-) David also has received more hours at work, something we have been asking you guys to pray for! Please pray this continues, as it has been ever so helpful to have the extra income! :-) Please also pray for the people of Haiti! This is such a tragic event and my heart aches for the people of this small country! They covet our prayers and our help!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Happy New Year!!!

Well friends, 2009 has officially ended. I know, I know, I'm a bit late on the post concerning the start of 2010, but life keeps you busy!! I spent the last night of 2009 ringing in the new year with a few close friends (and by few, I mean like 14!!) at my brother-in-law's apartment off of Papermill in Knoxville. It was an enjoyable evening of chatting, watching the ball drop and fellowship. :-)

Of course as with the ending of each year and the beginning of another year in my life, I spent some time reflecting on 2009. This year has been FULL of ups and downs! Everything from moving, to marriage, to illness, and new friendships has been covered through the year! 2009 was a generally positive year, however it did have its low points, as with every year. Some years are rather nondescript as others are more "action" packed!

I must admit that though 2009 was full of life changing events, I much prefer the years where nothing huge happens! Don't get me wrong, getting married was certainly the highlight of my year, but I much prefer the quiet life. Perhaps its maturity, or I really am turning into my parents, but I find the peace and quiet much more enjoyable that I once did!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Its been a while!

Dear friends and family,

First let me apologize for waiting as long as I have to update you on the inner workings of the Heselton household! It has been a chaotic and insane couple of weeks. (No exaggerations there!) Between family visiting, unpacking, and travels of our own, we have had narry a moment to breath. My immune system has been complaining rather loudly at the lack of rest it has recieved and as a result I have developed cold after cold after cold this year! YUCK! Not a pleasent way to end the year!

After my last post we had a short visit from Frank and Brenda. It was a lovely visit, but much too short! They drove down on Saturday and stayed for just over 24 hours! During this trip they brought both boys their birthday presents (Matt's birthday was the 20th and David's is January 6th) and Christmas for all three of us. David and I could hardly stand the Christmas presents under the tree taunting us!!

We also had the funny misfortune of dealing with a Super Glue incident on the day his mother and father were to arrive. I decided that this would be the opprotune time to fix the shower hooks that had the decorative metal buttons fall off. As I was hanging up the first shower hook, the button shifted and the end result was a super glued eye!! Though I know my in-laws would not have cared if the decorative buttons were on our shower hooks, to me it seemed to be a big deal! Oh if only I had known the incedent would occure! The glue burned like nothing I have ever felt!! We successfully were able to remove the glue from my eye by placing my head under warm running watter and letting it run over the eye for an hour. Lesson learned though! Make sure super glue is 100% dry before you raise it above your head!! :-D

We also headed up north to visit my family for the holiday as of last week. My grandmother did not have a clue we were coming and it felt great to surprise her on Christmas evening! The look on her face was well worth the travel time!!! :-) Thanks to my mom and dad we had a place to stay for free (My Grandma Wlodarski's) and we enjoyed our time visiting with them! David and I also spent some time with my little cousins and we had an enjoyable time watching the little girls beat the snot out of Jacob in Wii bowling! :-P Oh fun times!!

My only regret for this Christmas season was not actually making it up to my family in Virgina. I know David greatly misses home and his mom and dad! We do plan on making a trip up there later this winter, but it still is not the same as making it home for Christmas! :-( We have also agreed that in years to come we are going to spend time with our family on a rotating schedule until we have children. Once kids come along, we are not 100% sure how we will handle that challenge. The great news is that my parents and his parents live close together, so potentially we could have Christmas on the same day with BOTH families!! :-D God sure did know what he was doing when he moved mom and dad close to Frank and Brenda!! :-D Certainly makes balanceing our two families a lot easier! :-D

As with every post I would like to ask for a few prayer requests! It is the end of the year and I am asking that you all think about the year and what you have to be thankful for! 2009 was a very productive year for many of us, but lets see what 2010 will bring us!! :-D I also ask that you continue to pray for my grandmother. She had a PET scan this week and we have not heard the news on that test yet. I also ask that you keep my littlest cousin Crista in your prayers. She is have some trouble with her leg and is getting ready to be taken through a ton of tests to find out what is wrong. She had an x-ray done on the 21st and she has a dark spot on her bone. Please pray that this is nothing serious and that the shadow is nothing to be concerned about! 2009 has been a rough year health wise for my family, and we are asking that 2010 will be a lot easier and not as difficult!

Sending you all lots of love!!

Sarah and David

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Chaos that ensues....

Hey guys (and gals)!!!!

Well as you all know by now, David and I have moved!! A HUGE blessing this Christmas season, but a pain in my hind quarters at points! David and I began a housing search at the beginning of October that we kept quiet from most people. We felt the need to move from the place we were living into something better suited for our needs. We notified a few people that we were going to be moving and that we were very uncertain about the time frame due to finances and the typical lack of housing in Knoxville. After all, this is a college town, and the likely hood of finding someplace to move into quickly and CHEAPLY was very small. Needless to say God proved faithful and proved to us that if we trust him to handle things, our life is simply made richer. We chose to stay in West Knoxville due mostly in part to this is where we live out our day to day lives. I work right across the street and David works about a ten minute drive away. Our church is about five minutes away, and every activity imaginable is located within a fifteen minute drive from our apartment! What couldn't be more perfect about these living arrangements?!

We packed rather quickly and with the help of some friends we had most of our belongings moved within a matter of hours!! How cool is that?! Of course life has been rather chaotic since the move, but we are slowly settling in and enjoying our new home! (Pictures will follow once we are all unpacked!)

Of course life has been hectic in other ways for us too. David is almost done with school for the semester and that makes for a busy time for both of us! I, of course, work in retail and can not even BEGIN to tell you how hectic that is!! There are days I come home from work and shut off simply because that is all I can do. I am ever so grateful that my spouse understands this and does not pressure me to talk about it to death. Of course he is always there to listen when I need to vent, and for that I am grateful too! We a blessing my husband truly is!!

As with every closing of each post, we are asking for prayer! My dad had gallbladder surgery yesterday and we ask for quick healing! Dad has had a rough month physically so we are also praying that we can get these few bumps in the road out now so that next year will be smooth for him!! :-) We also ask for prayer with grandma! She returns to the doctor at the end of the month for a follow up visit concerning her surgery. Please pray that everything goes smoothly with that!! And finaly we ask for prayer concerning David's last few weeks at JBC as a full time student! This is a bittersweet time in his life and also a very hectic one! Pray for a smooth transistion into what God brings for us next!! :-)

Friday, November 27, 2009

Black Friday Maddness

Greetings all!!

As I am certain you are all aware today was the doomed Black Friday event that all overzealous shoppers plan for all year long. Shoppers armed with credit cards, carts, left overs stowed away in coolers, and fists come in droves at ungodly hours every year just for a small deal. I had the unfortunate pleasure of working in the mad house known to you all as Wal-Mart. I truly have a new found respect for my mother and father's dedication in getting the best deal on an item their kids really wanted!! Thanks Mom and Dad for all of the years of unexpressed gratitude you deserve!!

My morning started bright and early at 3:30am, crawling out of bed to brush my teeth, hair, and grab something quick to eat on the way out the door. Upon my arrival at Wal-Mart, I combed the parking lot for a parking space in the back 40 of the lot! I had the unlucky pleasure of being stationed at a "big ticket" item (Sony Bravia 42 inch TVS!). Most of you know just how much I HATE crowds, and this bunch was no exception! I faced everything from being flipped off, and being called the warden, to hearing a few F bombs! Granted, most people were pleasant, but with every bunch of apples, you have a few bad ones.

The observations I made were astounding and I have no words to even begin to describe the experience! I witnessed theft first hand as well as the need for security! People are sadly greedier than ever, and these types of events bring out the worst in human nature. It appears as though parents are desperate to get a "deal" and the biggest and the best for their children. I can only hope that we do not raise selfish children, as this (one day) mother will not fight for stuff! Its simply not worth it!!

After leaving Wal-Mart today, David and I made the choice to go continue our apartment search. Since our last update, David and I have been hitting the housing circuit big time so that we can move. We have decided that staying in this house is not worth it to us physically or financially. Our landlord attempted to fix the mold issues in our bathroom, but unfortunately we are starting to see it come back. We also have been looking to downgrade into something small to save ourselves some money.

We decided to take the best deal we could find, and Avalon West seems to be that deal! Its a two bedroom, one bath, and laundry room unit that fits perfectly to all of our needs! The rent is amazing (probably the best deal in town!) and the location is a God send!! We feel as though this is an answer to prayer and just the place God has been guiding us to all along! (Can I get an AMEN!!??) The only catch is we have to sign the lease by the 30th, so it is very likely we will be moving with in the next few days!

Another answered prayer this week has been my grandmother! She had surgery on Monday, and all went well! The pathology report came back negative for cancer on her thyroid, however we are not cancer free (as far as I know). She was kept an extra day in the hospital due to dehydration, but is home now and recovering quite nicely!! We are so proud of how tough she has been!! :-D

As with every post we still have prayer requests! We ask that you pray for safe travel for my parents as they will be heading back home this weekend. We also ask that you pray for this move and for everything to fall into place to make it as smooth as possible!

We love you all and are praying for blessings and Peace this Christmas season! Remember the reason we celebrate this holiday and the sacrifice and love our father has for us!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Deck the Halls




Greetings family and friends!

I apologize ahead of time for the delay in posting a new blog! We have had a busy couple of weeks!! (Let the updating commence!)

Last week was insanely busy for David! Of course he had his group project due in the form of his presentation and also his poster was due. He spent much of his free time working with his group to put the finishing touches on their work. I am so proud of him for the hard work and hours he put into the project! He sacrificed a lot of time with me just so he could finished. There were times I was a little annoyed (I must admit this) but in the end knew it was what had to be done.

I have also started work in full swing! It has its ups and its downs, but for the most part I really enjoy my job and the people I work with on a daily basis. I am usually tired when I come home from work, but David has been extremely understanding about the time it takes to become adjusted to a new job. :-)

As is customary for this time of year, David and I put our Christmas tree up tonight. We had a wonderful time bonding and laughing like a couple of teenagers. :-) We bought a small container of Pumpkin Eggnog and "dusted" off the Christmas music and went to town decorating our tree. It was quite a lovely cheap date at home, and well worth fighting the strands of Christmas lights for that time together. :-) (See photos)

As always we have prayer requests for you guys to end out this update out. Please continue to keep my Grandma Warren in your prayers. She will be having surgery on Monday and of course this is a very frightening though for anyone, but its even more scary for us as we are unsure what the results of this surgery will be. Please pray that God will guide the surgeon's hands as well as positive results of the surgery. Please also be praying for the JBC students as next week will start the Thanksgiving Break week for them and most will be traveling. Also pray for safe travel for my parents and brothers. They will be heading home for Thanksgiving on Wednesday.

We Love you all and hope to be hearing from you soon!! :-D

I now pronounce you Wife and Wookey! (David's idea! Its Yoda as he Preacher, my Barbie Bride and Chewy)

Help me Obiewonkanobie you're my only hope! (again another one of David's ideas! :-P)