So tomorrow is our 17 week checkup and ultrasound. Im of course excited and nervous to see our little one again and I can't wait to see if we will be able to see the sex. I have been feeling funny little "twitches" and movements in my lower abdomen for the last couple of weeks that I have been uncertain weather or not it was our little one. Finally felt not long ago the first real belly burning kick of this pregnancy. It was pretty exciting to feel that little movement that was by no uncertain terms gas or something digesting. Finally the first signs of life that I could actually experience first hand and it was something that I can not even begin to describe. I feel such and intense love and connection to this child that words can not even describe, and the crazy thing is I know it will grow even more when the baby gets here. I love knowing that my body is growing a little person.
Of course with pregnancy there are things that people don't tell you about. I never realized how glamourized being pregnant has been made by Hollywood, and now that I know some of the truth (though I admit I have a heck of a lot more to learn!), I find myself becoming annoyed by the protrayal of pregnancy in movies and books. Its really fun for me, but I believe that its fun primarily because I am in the middle of it. What people don't tell you about being pregnant is that your back aches all of the time. They don't tell you that your hips will hurt and that there WILL be some form of cramping that feels a lot like a really hard work out. (Makes sense though, you're growing something the size of a watermelon in something that is orignally the size of a tangerine!) They don't tell you that your nose will most likely run, your gums will bleed and for some you may be feeling as though you have the flu all of the time!
Of course for those of you that have had babies, you understand fully what I am talking about, but men just don't seem to get it. My husband, bless his heart, constantly askes me "Are you okay?!" when I say ouch or any other express of discomfort. I have to constantly remind him, that yes I am perfectly okay, this is normal and just because I stub my toe and say ow, does not mean you have to come running from across the other side of the house. To David's credit, he also is the grounding factor when I start to fret over little things like a cramp in my belly or the lack of movement for a few hours. He calmly looks at me and reminds me that everything is fine and I am just experiencing a normal pain.
I am seeing myself transforming from a once extremely disorganized person, into someone who is obessed with being prepared. I lay my hands on as much research as I can get about child birth, pregnancy, and parenting. I constantly ask my mom about her experiences with pregnancy, so that I may be even slightly prepared for that scary process. I also find myself conversing with my friends who are experiencing pregnancy at the same time. I find the differences in our doctors among other things. I also am finding myself writing everything on the calander, something I NEVER had a habit of before becoming pregnant. I find that as I become more pregnant, the more forgetful I become, and if I don't write it down where I can find it quickly, it WILL be forgotten, and then I'm upset with myself.
Speaking of becoming upset with oneself, I am the most weepy person I have ever met! If I see a commercial that makes me even a little homesick, sad or even happy I am reaching for the tissue box. I do a pretty good job of keeping these extreme emotions in check in public, but alas sometimes it just fails to be held back. Last night I cried for a little bit because the salad I was having had blue cheese on it (a no no in pregnancy) and I was suddenly turned off to it because I couldn't pick off all of the cheese. I was so sad about my lost salad that I cried. Of course I got over it pretty quick, but its a great example.
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