Wow! What a change and challenge one year can be! In a week and a half David and I will turn over the page of our first year of marriage. What can I say? Its been a challenge and a blessing. David and I never lived together before getting married, but I knew his living habits before moving in together. That being said, like any newly married couple, I discovered habits he had that annoyed me and he discovered habits that annoyed him.
We have had a difficult year to say the least. Between making adjustments in the way we handle money to family adjustments we have seen our fair share of ups and downs. We learned how to draw closer to each other and to share in our frustrations and grief. Two individuals became one family; loving and supporting each other through our personal ups and downs.
Looking back through this past year I can't help but find myself drawn even closer to my spouse. I find that I have so many answered prayers and have chosen a wonderful help mate. I pray God continues to grow us through our years together and that David and I continue to show appreciation for each other. I pray that our love continues to deepen and grow through the easy and the difficult times.
This year would also not have been as wonderful with out the help of our friends and family. You are all so loved and appreciated! Thank you for offering kind words of encouragement and support. WE LOVE YOU!!
Josh- Thanks for becoming not only a best friend, but also a brother! For all of your love and support you have given us. Your friendship is truly priceless.
Britney- Thanks for always giving us a laugh when we needed it the most. Thanks for being there to lift my spirits on the particularly difficult days and for being a shoulder to cry on when we were grieving our loss.
Patty, Heather, and Bethany- Thanks for being such great girlfriends and always willing to answer the call when I needed a girls night out!! :-D Your friendship is something I am so happy to have been blessed with this year!
Brenda and Frank- Your love, support, and prayers are being heard! Thanks for being great parents to us and an encouragement! There are just too many things to mention here that we are grateful for! Thanks for raising such an honorable and patient child! Without your leg work I wouldn't have such a great spouse!! :-D :-D
Kevin and Tracey (Mom and Dad)- You guys are so awesome! Thanks for your love support and prayers also! They too are being heard!! Again, you guys have done so much for us, and there is just too much to mention here! Thanks for being such a great example of what a loving marriage is like! I listen, even when you don't feel like I do! ;-) Your wisdom continues to teach me, even at 23!
Matt, Jared, and Andy- Thanks for the great game nights and cheap entertainment! :-D The evenings at your place are always looked forward to and offer us with a bright spot in our weeks! :-D We look forward to many more to come!
Mike, Kyle, and Toby- Thanks guys for being my "replacement' Brothers! ;-) You three goons are always willing to lend a helping hand or just someone to hang out with! We always enjoy our time together with you be it in a group setting or individually.
Josh and Jake- Last but not least! :-D You guys are awesome brothers! You're always a lot of fun and always very loved! :-D Your big sister loves you a lot and your brother-in-law loves you too!
I'm sorry if I forgot anyone, but there are just so many of you to mention! We love you ALL and you each bring something different to the table! Hugs to all of you and many thanks for the year gone by! Here's to several more!!! :-D
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Beauty from Ashes
I write this post with a heavy heart, but also with a peace surrounding me that only one who believes in the great healer can understand. David and I have had a very difficult month an a half, more so on my end, and it is because of the heaviness I feel the need to get things off of my chest.
Let me first off start by saying I love my husband dearly. He is my biggest support and sometimes my only support, holding me up in ways that only one who knows you intimately can do. I am extremely proud of him, and anyone who has seen us together would know that I hold a strong pride in my spouse. He continues to provide for us both in meeting our physical needs but as well as our emotional and spiritual needs. My husband is my best friend and one of a handful of people I can honestly be myself around.
That being said, we have had some heartbreak that we did not feel the need to share until just a couple of days ago. We felt for both of our sakes it was best to talk about this heartbreak to others so that we could find some closure and healing. God has been incredibly loving and has held me up and brought me to friends that understand the heartache we have been facing. This this is difficult for me to write about, we have decided that it is time to share with the world what exactly has happened. So please bare with me as I am about to become very raw with my emotions.
David and I found out in early March that we were expecting and we were both terrified and thrilled at the same time. We believed that we had conceived sometime in January/ Early February as we had taken a couple of home pregnancy tests that were negative, but I hadn't started my monthly cycle yet. Initially we thought it was due to my PCOS and didn't think anything of it, as its fairly normal for me to be off every few months (and I was long overdue for an irregular month) but something just didn't feel right to me. We found out a week or so later that indeed I was pregnant and of course for any new parent the emotions came flooding through.
I of course did not take into account the fact that I have developed PCOS and with that comes its own set of issues during pregnancy. The long end of the story resulted in a miscarriage for us and I was devastated. Not only did it hurt in the physical sense, but my heart felt so incredibly wounded. I still mourn for my child, and though I know they are in a better place and with a loving God who can offer them a life far better than I could ever offer them, I still ask myself what life would have been like with a little Heselton running around.
Though I know we are no where near ready to have a child (seeing as we just got married under a year ago!) I still long for the day when I can call myself a mother. My biggest ambition in life is to be a mother, and dismal as that may sound to some of you, the majority of you know that I have a mothering and nurturing spirit. God has planted a desire in my heart to be a mother, and though I know some day that will come true, it still pains me not to have it now.
I also know that God can use this in a way that I have not yet figured out. He will bring beauty from these ashes and he is giving me the strength to heal. He allows me to have happy days and he also has given me the ability to feel on those sad days. The happy days are coming closer together and the sad days further apart, and in time I will have less and less sad days. I just pray that my loving Father will continue to lift me up when I call to him. He has given me the peace that I have and will continue to love me unconditionally.
Let me first off start by saying I love my husband dearly. He is my biggest support and sometimes my only support, holding me up in ways that only one who knows you intimately can do. I am extremely proud of him, and anyone who has seen us together would know that I hold a strong pride in my spouse. He continues to provide for us both in meeting our physical needs but as well as our emotional and spiritual needs. My husband is my best friend and one of a handful of people I can honestly be myself around.
That being said, we have had some heartbreak that we did not feel the need to share until just a couple of days ago. We felt for both of our sakes it was best to talk about this heartbreak to others so that we could find some closure and healing. God has been incredibly loving and has held me up and brought me to friends that understand the heartache we have been facing. This this is difficult for me to write about, we have decided that it is time to share with the world what exactly has happened. So please bare with me as I am about to become very raw with my emotions.
David and I found out in early March that we were expecting and we were both terrified and thrilled at the same time. We believed that we had conceived sometime in January/ Early February as we had taken a couple of home pregnancy tests that were negative, but I hadn't started my monthly cycle yet. Initially we thought it was due to my PCOS and didn't think anything of it, as its fairly normal for me to be off every few months (and I was long overdue for an irregular month) but something just didn't feel right to me. We found out a week or so later that indeed I was pregnant and of course for any new parent the emotions came flooding through.
I of course did not take into account the fact that I have developed PCOS and with that comes its own set of issues during pregnancy. The long end of the story resulted in a miscarriage for us and I was devastated. Not only did it hurt in the physical sense, but my heart felt so incredibly wounded. I still mourn for my child, and though I know they are in a better place and with a loving God who can offer them a life far better than I could ever offer them, I still ask myself what life would have been like with a little Heselton running around.
Though I know we are no where near ready to have a child (seeing as we just got married under a year ago!) I still long for the day when I can call myself a mother. My biggest ambition in life is to be a mother, and dismal as that may sound to some of you, the majority of you know that I have a mothering and nurturing spirit. God has planted a desire in my heart to be a mother, and though I know some day that will come true, it still pains me not to have it now.
I also know that God can use this in a way that I have not yet figured out. He will bring beauty from these ashes and he is giving me the strength to heal. He allows me to have happy days and he also has given me the ability to feel on those sad days. The happy days are coming closer together and the sad days further apart, and in time I will have less and less sad days. I just pray that my loving Father will continue to lift me up when I call to him. He has given me the peace that I have and will continue to love me unconditionally.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Happy Thursday
Happy Thursday everyone! Here is our most recent update:
Thursday is fellowship/ game night with our friends. We hosted this week playing farkle and having nachos to munch on! It was a good time for everyone! We watched part of the Steelers/ Titans game as a good bit of our friends are Steelers fans! I am currently watching the end of the game and its tied with 44 seconds to go. Looks like this one will be going into over time!
I'm greatful for the fact that we have cable this football season and that David isn't opposed to letting me watch my Colts play! (Ok they aren't MY Colts per say, but I'm a big supporter and fan!!) Ah the smell and sound of fall has finally approached us! :-)
David was sadly holed up in the office during the fellowship time working on homework! Poor guy! But that is the life of a college student! I am so incredibly proud of him for going to school and getting a degree that I can't be annoyed or upset that he is making his school work a priority right now!
Other news for us includes the fact that we have been visiting Two Rivers church again. I'm very fond of the church and was excited on Sunday after the sermon to hear that the preacher is from Kokomo Indiana! Kind of cool to hear! The sermon was about community and the importance of getting involved in a small group outside of your "regular" church service. The preacher made a good point that there is most definatly a time and a place for the big group fellowship, but that in a church that size we need to be plugged in with a smaller group of Christians. Its very important to have a small group of friends to ask the tough questions like "how are you doing in your walk?" and "what can we pray for you for?"
One more bit of news that I want to pass along. In continuation of asking for prayers I am still asking that you pray for my Grandmother (Warren). As most of you know she has Lymphoma "all through her body" and is currently undergoing chemo for this. As I mentioned last week, the doctors found a mass on her thyroid. My father passed the information on to me that she will undergo surgery after she has finished Chemo. She will go under the knife for the doctors to explore and figure out what this mass may be. While in there they will send a sample to the lab and find out if it is cancer. If it is they will remove the mass and progress from there.
We are also asking for prayer for me. I am also fighting depression a bit. Some days are worse than others. I can usually push through things, but there are days that no matter how hard I try I feel overwhelmed. David is very supportive is hanging in there quite well on those days that I have trouble. I'm very proud of him for helping me through on the rough days! Thank God for such a good friend and spouse! :-)
Thursday is fellowship/ game night with our friends. We hosted this week playing farkle and having nachos to munch on! It was a good time for everyone! We watched part of the Steelers/ Titans game as a good bit of our friends are Steelers fans! I am currently watching the end of the game and its tied with 44 seconds to go. Looks like this one will be going into over time!
I'm greatful for the fact that we have cable this football season and that David isn't opposed to letting me watch my Colts play! (Ok they aren't MY Colts per say, but I'm a big supporter and fan!!) Ah the smell and sound of fall has finally approached us! :-)
David was sadly holed up in the office during the fellowship time working on homework! Poor guy! But that is the life of a college student! I am so incredibly proud of him for going to school and getting a degree that I can't be annoyed or upset that he is making his school work a priority right now!
Other news for us includes the fact that we have been visiting Two Rivers church again. I'm very fond of the church and was excited on Sunday after the sermon to hear that the preacher is from Kokomo Indiana! Kind of cool to hear! The sermon was about community and the importance of getting involved in a small group outside of your "regular" church service. The preacher made a good point that there is most definatly a time and a place for the big group fellowship, but that in a church that size we need to be plugged in with a smaller group of Christians. Its very important to have a small group of friends to ask the tough questions like "how are you doing in your walk?" and "what can we pray for you for?"
One more bit of news that I want to pass along. In continuation of asking for prayers I am still asking that you pray for my Grandmother (Warren). As most of you know she has Lymphoma "all through her body" and is currently undergoing chemo for this. As I mentioned last week, the doctors found a mass on her thyroid. My father passed the information on to me that she will undergo surgery after she has finished Chemo. She will go under the knife for the doctors to explore and figure out what this mass may be. While in there they will send a sample to the lab and find out if it is cancer. If it is they will remove the mass and progress from there.
We are also asking for prayer for me. I am also fighting depression a bit. Some days are worse than others. I can usually push through things, but there are days that no matter how hard I try I feel overwhelmed. David is very supportive is hanging in there quite well on those days that I have trouble. I'm very proud of him for helping me through on the rough days! Thank God for such a good friend and spouse! :-)
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