Wow! What a change and challenge one year can be! In a week and a half David and I will turn over the page of our first year of marriage. What can I say? Its been a challenge and a blessing. David and I never lived together before getting married, but I knew his living habits before moving in together. That being said, like any newly married couple, I discovered habits he had that annoyed me and he discovered habits that annoyed him.
We have had a difficult year to say the least. Between making adjustments in the way we handle money to family adjustments we have seen our fair share of ups and downs. We learned how to draw closer to each other and to share in our frustrations and grief. Two individuals became one family; loving and supporting each other through our personal ups and downs.
Looking back through this past year I can't help but find myself drawn even closer to my spouse. I find that I have so many answered prayers and have chosen a wonderful help mate. I pray God continues to grow us through our years together and that David and I continue to show appreciation for each other. I pray that our love continues to deepen and grow through the easy and the difficult times.
This year would also not have been as wonderful with out the help of our friends and family. You are all so loved and appreciated! Thank you for offering kind words of encouragement and support. WE LOVE YOU!!
Josh- Thanks for becoming not only a best friend, but also a brother! For all of your love and support you have given us. Your friendship is truly priceless.
Britney- Thanks for always giving us a laugh when we needed it the most. Thanks for being there to lift my spirits on the particularly difficult days and for being a shoulder to cry on when we were grieving our loss.
Patty, Heather, and Bethany- Thanks for being such great girlfriends and always willing to answer the call when I needed a girls night out!! :-D Your friendship is something I am so happy to have been blessed with this year!
Brenda and Frank- Your love, support, and prayers are being heard! Thanks for being great parents to us and an encouragement! There are just too many things to mention here that we are grateful for! Thanks for raising such an honorable and patient child! Without your leg work I wouldn't have such a great spouse!! :-D :-D
Kevin and Tracey (Mom and Dad)- You guys are so awesome! Thanks for your love support and prayers also! They too are being heard!! Again, you guys have done so much for us, and there is just too much to mention here! Thanks for being such a great example of what a loving marriage is like! I listen, even when you don't feel like I do! ;-) Your wisdom continues to teach me, even at 23!
Matt, Jared, and Andy- Thanks for the great game nights and cheap entertainment! :-D The evenings at your place are always looked forward to and offer us with a bright spot in our weeks! :-D We look forward to many more to come!
Mike, Kyle, and Toby- Thanks guys for being my "replacement' Brothers! ;-) You three goons are always willing to lend a helping hand or just someone to hang out with! We always enjoy our time together with you be it in a group setting or individually.
Josh and Jake- Last but not least! :-D You guys are awesome brothers! You're always a lot of fun and always very loved! :-D Your big sister loves you a lot and your brother-in-law loves you too!
I'm sorry if I forgot anyone, but there are just so many of you to mention! We love you ALL and you each bring something different to the table! Hugs to all of you and many thanks for the year gone by! Here's to several more!!! :-D
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Summer Reading
Summer weather has finally arrived and with that means LOTS of pool time! For those of you that know me, I have always been a water and sun lover. I could spend hours in the pool just floating around aimlessly soaking up the sun in the process. Believe me, every spare moment I have been able to obtain over the last week has been spent in the water or beside the water. With time by the water also means lots of reading time for me. For whatever reason summer is always the time I pick up a book and can't put it down. I read in the winter time too, but summer has always been the time of the year that I seem to fly through books. For us that means lots of trips to the library and sorting through our book cases to find books we no longer want to hold onto and trading them in at McKays. Yes, by far I would have to say that summer time is a favorite season!
Last night David and I went to McKays to walk around (because thats where all of our dates end up at these days) and of course I was drooling over a whole run of titles I want to read this summer. He of course did the same thing, though David has a habit of reading the same books multiple times. This isn't always a bad thing though, becaus I know most of the time if he has bought a book, its a well thought out purchase and will provide him with years of etnertainment! (provided it holds together that long!) I on the other hand tend to only read books once, unless it is a favorite. For example, I have all of the Harry Potter books, and I try to read them at least once a year. Same goes for my twilight books and I just finished a series that I am certian will jump on the "once a year" reading list. (For those of you interested in reading something mindless but also great I recomend the Luxe series! Totally worth it!!)
With our trip to McKays David and I talked about our summer reading lists and we came to a conclusion, we both tend to get stuck in the same genre of books and find ourselves not taking the time to think outside of the box. David reads science fiction and fantasy, whereas I am prone to reading romance and fantasy/ adventure books. I do pick up the occassional nonfiction book, but generally speaking I tend to stay in one genre! (back on track now) We decided that we are going to issue each other a challege. We are going to pick a book or seires once a year for the other to read. Something that the other person has never read before so that we can broaden our horizons and experience other types of books. Its important to us that we open our minds to something new as well as to have something new to talk about. I'm excited to see what our summer reading project will show about each other and also providing us with an opprotunity for new conversations! Wish us luck!!
Last night David and I went to McKays to walk around (because thats where all of our dates end up at these days) and of course I was drooling over a whole run of titles I want to read this summer. He of course did the same thing, though David has a habit of reading the same books multiple times. This isn't always a bad thing though, becaus I know most of the time if he has bought a book, its a well thought out purchase and will provide him with years of etnertainment! (provided it holds together that long!) I on the other hand tend to only read books once, unless it is a favorite. For example, I have all of the Harry Potter books, and I try to read them at least once a year. Same goes for my twilight books and I just finished a series that I am certian will jump on the "once a year" reading list. (For those of you interested in reading something mindless but also great I recomend the Luxe series! Totally worth it!!)
With our trip to McKays David and I talked about our summer reading lists and we came to a conclusion, we both tend to get stuck in the same genre of books and find ourselves not taking the time to think outside of the box. David reads science fiction and fantasy, whereas I am prone to reading romance and fantasy/ adventure books. I do pick up the occassional nonfiction book, but generally speaking I tend to stay in one genre! (back on track now) We decided that we are going to issue each other a challege. We are going to pick a book or seires once a year for the other to read. Something that the other person has never read before so that we can broaden our horizons and experience other types of books. Its important to us that we open our minds to something new as well as to have something new to talk about. I'm excited to see what our summer reading project will show about each other and also providing us with an opprotunity for new conversations! Wish us luck!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Blogging Through It
I have been blogging a lot lately, mostly to help me process whats been going on in our life. Its no big secret that we have suffered an emotional and physical loss and its certainly not hidden how I have felt about it. I have felt the need to blog about things just so I could process my emotions. Its easier and certainly less costly than seeing a therapist. Let me first of all just state that I'm by no stretch of the imagination against seeing a counselor, but for this I have felt that I could get through it with the support of my friends and family. I felt that by going to a therapist I would be wasting their time and resources when there were others that needed the help much more than myself. I have been in counseling enough to know that working through pain takes time and healing will not happen over night.
I have truly felt as though my blogging has helped me to process life in a way that few can do on their own. It has also allowed me to talk candidly about the life changes that have been occurring over the last six months. It has given me a voice and an a way to share with you my faith that by no uncertain terms has been tested. It is a struggle to be a Christian and Satin has a way of attacking us at our weakest. Its painful, but I am learning I am far stronger than I ever thought I was. I am learning to walk in a manner that is strong and pleasing to God.
I also want people to know that its okay to talk to me about what is going on in life. I have been blessed to have a few friends that have experienced similar events and they have talked openly to me about the struggles they have faced. They know the importance of talking to someone. Talking about it is what gets me through the day. Of course I am going to have difficult days, but truth be told those are the days I need my friends the most. So please don't be afraid to ask me how I am doing. Don't be scared to tell me you love me, and by all means please do not hold back.
I have truly felt as though my blogging has helped me to process life in a way that few can do on their own. It has also allowed me to talk candidly about the life changes that have been occurring over the last six months. It has given me a voice and an a way to share with you my faith that by no uncertain terms has been tested. It is a struggle to be a Christian and Satin has a way of attacking us at our weakest. Its painful, but I am learning I am far stronger than I ever thought I was. I am learning to walk in a manner that is strong and pleasing to God.
I also want people to know that its okay to talk to me about what is going on in life. I have been blessed to have a few friends that have experienced similar events and they have talked openly to me about the struggles they have faced. They know the importance of talking to someone. Talking about it is what gets me through the day. Of course I am going to have difficult days, but truth be told those are the days I need my friends the most. So please don't be afraid to ask me how I am doing. Don't be scared to tell me you love me, and by all means please do not hold back.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
How to make an American Quilt
Last night I watched a movie called "How to Make an American Quilt" about a young lady who goes to stay with her grandmother for the summer while writing her master's thesis. The premise of the movie is based around six older women and the construction of a "love quilt." Each block of the quilt was designed to represent what each woman viewed as love. The blocks ranged from flowers to a diving board.
This story got me thinking about my family and friends. What would their interpretation of love be? I know that mine would be a chapel, not just because of the fact that it represents my faith, but also because a chapel was the place I married David. Its where our story began. We met at a place of faith, married at a place of faith, and made a promise before God and our family that we would continue to carry on that faith to our new family. A chapel is not only symbolic, but important to us.
Each of us has a story to tell, and though I did not agree with the story these women told, it was in fact a story that so many of us can relate with. Love is a powerful emotion, something that binds parents to children, husbands to wives, and friends together for life. Love is honest, pure, and passionate. Love when embraced can heal a wounded heart and restore a broken relationship. With every fiber of my being I believe that love is what keeps me going. Not just the love of my partner, but of a heavenly father who desires nothing but the very best for me.
How to make an American Quilt also got me thinking about my relationship with my husband. How do I want others to see it? I know that my husband makes me a better person. He challenges me to examine the areas of my life that I can not see. He challenges me to change the negative aspects of my character. David and I strive to have the type of marriage that others can look at and say "In fifty years I hope my marriage is just like yours!" I look at both of our parents and feel that I want to have the kind of relationship with my spouse that they have with theirs. It takes a lot of hard work, determination, communication, and forgiveness to have a marriage like that, but its something I pray we will hold on to.
This story got me thinking about my family and friends. What would their interpretation of love be? I know that mine would be a chapel, not just because of the fact that it represents my faith, but also because a chapel was the place I married David. Its where our story began. We met at a place of faith, married at a place of faith, and made a promise before God and our family that we would continue to carry on that faith to our new family. A chapel is not only symbolic, but important to us.
Each of us has a story to tell, and though I did not agree with the story these women told, it was in fact a story that so many of us can relate with. Love is a powerful emotion, something that binds parents to children, husbands to wives, and friends together for life. Love is honest, pure, and passionate. Love when embraced can heal a wounded heart and restore a broken relationship. With every fiber of my being I believe that love is what keeps me going. Not just the love of my partner, but of a heavenly father who desires nothing but the very best for me.
How to make an American Quilt also got me thinking about my relationship with my husband. How do I want others to see it? I know that my husband makes me a better person. He challenges me to examine the areas of my life that I can not see. He challenges me to change the negative aspects of my character. David and I strive to have the type of marriage that others can look at and say "In fifty years I hope my marriage is just like yours!" I look at both of our parents and feel that I want to have the kind of relationship with my spouse that they have with theirs. It takes a lot of hard work, determination, communication, and forgiveness to have a marriage like that, but its something I pray we will hold on to.
Monday, May 3, 2010
A picture is Worth a 1000 words
We spent the weekend with David's parents and it was a wonderful time for everyone. I have been very blessed not to have in-laws that are the stereotypical parents. I love them very much and we always have a good time when we get together. The only regret I have for this weekend was not taking any photos!
We've all heard the phrase "A picture is worth a thousand words" and I believe this to be true. Pictures catch a moment in time, a memory if you will. There comes a time when those memories are all we have to hang onto and hope for a time when we can experience those feelings again. Sometimes those feelings can not be obtained again, and we have to come to terms and accept that those moments will never be relived.I say this not to depress you, but it is very much the truth.
I have been thinking about my grandfather a lot in the last couple of days, longing for those special moments we shared together. I realize those special moments can not be relived, but I still miss him never the less. We were special to him, and he was special to us. He was constantly taking pictures and it is those pictures I love so dearly. Not just because he took them, but because they capture a moment in time. Moments that are so dear to us.
I guess that's why I take photos so often, I love capturing moments. I want my family to look back at these photos one day and see how incredibly special they were to me. I want my family to know that I love them and that the time we spend together is important to me.
We've all heard the phrase "A picture is worth a thousand words" and I believe this to be true. Pictures catch a moment in time, a memory if you will. There comes a time when those memories are all we have to hang onto and hope for a time when we can experience those feelings again. Sometimes those feelings can not be obtained again, and we have to come to terms and accept that those moments will never be relived.I say this not to depress you, but it is very much the truth.
I have been thinking about my grandfather a lot in the last couple of days, longing for those special moments we shared together. I realize those special moments can not be relived, but I still miss him never the less. We were special to him, and he was special to us. He was constantly taking pictures and it is those pictures I love so dearly. Not just because he took them, but because they capture a moment in time. Moments that are so dear to us.
I guess that's why I take photos so often, I love capturing moments. I want my family to look back at these photos one day and see how incredibly special they were to me. I want my family to know that I love them and that the time we spend together is important to me.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
All In HIS Timing
UGH! As I sit here this evening typing this update I am feeling not only restless, but impatient! I am feeling impatient with the timing of life and annoyed with God. Not so much to say that I am annoyed with where God is taking me, but more so in the simple fact that I can't seem to gain a foothold on my pursuit of an education. Due to some unwise choices I made when I first struck out on my own, I am living less comfortably than I would like to, thus making it more difficult to follow through on my need of an education. Simply put, its irritating.
I am feeling restless and I facing a lack of direction that I once held. Now it seems as though the only thoughts on my mind are bills, marriage, and what my future holds. Though we are not ready for parenthood, I find myself asking God when things will happen, if I'm able to carry a child, and what life will be like should we have a child at this present time. I'm not saying I want a baby right now, I know we are no where capable of sustaining the finances required to raise a child, but I find that daily I face the aching and longing for my child. I am in my truest form a nurturer and as a result of this I am constantly concerned with the needs of those around me.
It is the need for nurturing others that drives me question my career path. Should I be a nurse, a teacher, or something else? Many unanswered questions are circling around in my brain, and it seems as though I am being told to wait. I am not a waiter, I LOATH being told to wait! But unfortunately God seems to have bigger plans for me, and is yet again teaching me a lesson in understanding his timing! YUCK! I guess what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger! :-) God isn't killing me, and he IS teaching me about the importance of his timing. I long to please YHWH and I often feels as though I am failing him.
I am reminded in spite of the fact that I am frustrated that God is my creator, and that he has made me in his image. He made me to long for greater things, and he made me to desire to serve others. I am made perfectly in his image and there is no one greater that loves me, not even my husband. It is this understanding that allows me to press on and do my best to please him, even when I feel as though I am failing.
I leave you with these words of encouragement, meant not only to remind you, but also myself of God's holiness and the value of waiting on his timing.
Psalm 27:14
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 37:7
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
I am feeling restless and I facing a lack of direction that I once held. Now it seems as though the only thoughts on my mind are bills, marriage, and what my future holds. Though we are not ready for parenthood, I find myself asking God when things will happen, if I'm able to carry a child, and what life will be like should we have a child at this present time. I'm not saying I want a baby right now, I know we are no where capable of sustaining the finances required to raise a child, but I find that daily I face the aching and longing for my child. I am in my truest form a nurturer and as a result of this I am constantly concerned with the needs of those around me.
It is the need for nurturing others that drives me question my career path. Should I be a nurse, a teacher, or something else? Many unanswered questions are circling around in my brain, and it seems as though I am being told to wait. I am not a waiter, I LOATH being told to wait! But unfortunately God seems to have bigger plans for me, and is yet again teaching me a lesson in understanding his timing! YUCK! I guess what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger! :-) God isn't killing me, and he IS teaching me about the importance of his timing. I long to please YHWH and I often feels as though I am failing him.
I am reminded in spite of the fact that I am frustrated that God is my creator, and that he has made me in his image. He made me to long for greater things, and he made me to desire to serve others. I am made perfectly in his image and there is no one greater that loves me, not even my husband. It is this understanding that allows me to press on and do my best to please him, even when I feel as though I am failing.
I leave you with these words of encouragement, meant not only to remind you, but also myself of God's holiness and the value of waiting on his timing.
Psalm 27:14
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 37:7
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Bondage
Tonight was yet another sleepless night and I was trying to make myself sleepy by going through some of my old favorite videos on Youtube. I happened to run across a video of the lyrics to the song "Everything" by Lifehouse so I watched. That of course lead me to a link to a skit that some students did with the song. It was extremely powerful and it got my wheels turning. I began to think about bondage and its impact on our lives.
There is always that one small thing that people struggle with to over come. For some it may be a bad habit, others it may be something much stronger like addiction. This got me thinking about my own shortcoming and I got to thinking about all of the areas that I fail in life. I struggle with a lot of things. I often times buy into what the Wester world thinks as beautiful, I buy into my own personal inadiquacies, and I buy into what other think of me in general.
My whole life I have struggled with an addiction to food. As crazy as it may sound, yes food can become an addiction and for me it is often times an overpowering addiction. I use food to soothe me when I'm feeling upset, lonely, or just plain bored. Its an obession and I often times find myself thinking about my next snack. As a result of this I'm terribly overweight and no matter how hard I try to fight it, I just can't seem to stop obsessing. It is my bondage. I struggle daily with asking Christ to take the sin of gluttony from my plate, and I often fail. Some days are good, but like an alcholic or druggie I find myself looking for my next food fix.
When I'm not eating, I find myself obessing over what I have (or have not) had to eat in a certain time period. I try diets and "ways" of living to no avail. Its as though this addiction has such a hold over me that I am uncertain what to do with myself when I'm not consumed by it. I have even gone so far as to seek out Over Eaters Anonomous to seek help and support in this addiction, yet nothing seems to work. I know I have to eat to live, but this type of eating disorder is going to kill me one day if I can't put a stop to it. Not only that, but it can and has affected my ability to carry a child to full term. Its not only endangering my life, but the life of those around me.
This bondage is something that I have hidden so well, that up until about two years into my relationship with David, he had not a clue that this was going on. It took me confessing to him about this struggle for him to find out. There were even times that I practiced buliemic tendancies, though those cycles have always been short lived, as I loath vomiting.
I continue to pray daily that Christ can help me to shake these chains away. That he will help me to over come my sinful ways and that he will hold me up on those difficult moments when I need his loving hand to guide me. I am asking God once and for all to fully deliver me from this bondage I am under and lift me from this blackhole.
There is always that one small thing that people struggle with to over come. For some it may be a bad habit, others it may be something much stronger like addiction. This got me thinking about my own shortcoming and I got to thinking about all of the areas that I fail in life. I struggle with a lot of things. I often times buy into what the Wester world thinks as beautiful, I buy into my own personal inadiquacies, and I buy into what other think of me in general.
My whole life I have struggled with an addiction to food. As crazy as it may sound, yes food can become an addiction and for me it is often times an overpowering addiction. I use food to soothe me when I'm feeling upset, lonely, or just plain bored. Its an obession and I often times find myself thinking about my next snack. As a result of this I'm terribly overweight and no matter how hard I try to fight it, I just can't seem to stop obsessing. It is my bondage. I struggle daily with asking Christ to take the sin of gluttony from my plate, and I often fail. Some days are good, but like an alcholic or druggie I find myself looking for my next food fix.
When I'm not eating, I find myself obessing over what I have (or have not) had to eat in a certain time period. I try diets and "ways" of living to no avail. Its as though this addiction has such a hold over me that I am uncertain what to do with myself when I'm not consumed by it. I have even gone so far as to seek out Over Eaters Anonomous to seek help and support in this addiction, yet nothing seems to work. I know I have to eat to live, but this type of eating disorder is going to kill me one day if I can't put a stop to it. Not only that, but it can and has affected my ability to carry a child to full term. Its not only endangering my life, but the life of those around me.
This bondage is something that I have hidden so well, that up until about two years into my relationship with David, he had not a clue that this was going on. It took me confessing to him about this struggle for him to find out. There were even times that I practiced buliemic tendancies, though those cycles have always been short lived, as I loath vomiting.
I continue to pray daily that Christ can help me to shake these chains away. That he will help me to over come my sinful ways and that he will hold me up on those difficult moments when I need his loving hand to guide me. I am asking God once and for all to fully deliver me from this bondage I am under and lift me from this blackhole.
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