The Joys of Motherhood

Wednesday is a milestone for our little family! Alexandra will be a month old! How excited am I?! A lot, but there is also a large part of me that is sad to have seen this first month go by so quickly. I LOVE motherhood. Its everything I thought it would be and more. I have taken to it like a fish to water. Its something I have ALWAYS wanted and now that she is here with us, making our family that much more complete, I can't imagine it in any other way. I look at her, and though we have had a few minor setbacks in the beginning, she is beautiful and perfect to me. I love her more than I ever thought possible. I understand a parents love a lot more thoroughly now that I have become a mother.

That being said I have also seen a side to my husband that warms my heart. I have seen him grow up a lot and at the same time revisit his childhood. Its an aspect of him that I have not experienced before and it makes me smile. He is so gentle with our daughter and instead of tuning her out (like some new fathers do) he finds the joy in spending time with her. He has even creatively found a way to spend time with her while doing the things he loves. (Here you see him playing a video game with Alex on his lap. I know the photo is dark, but I HAD to share it)


I have learned that with a baby in the house, its not unusual to be spit up on or pooped on at some point during the day. I have also learned that sleep is a valuable commodity and when you can grab some, DO IT! I have also learned that my formally quiet home is no longer quiet! Never in my life did I think for once I would value a little quiet, but boy am I missing it now! (I say this as I just finished soothing a very fussy hungry baby who was screaming....) I also have learned that MY world is no longer MY world. It now revolves around diaper changes, bath time, feedings, sleep time, and laundry. My word the amount of laundry a little baby can make amazes me! I don't mind though, its all for her.

I have also learned in this past month that sneaking in quiet time with my husband is going to be tricky! Just about the time we sit on the couch to watch a movie or I snuggle in beside him to have one of our formally long talks.... she starts crying. I usually laugh, look at David and say "Our daughter has impeccable timing!" Something as simple as sitting down to eat a meal together has become more tricky. Now life involves balancing a baby on my lap, a fork in my hand and trying to eat without spilling on her! I laughed to myself this evening when attempting to cook dinner the baby started crying. "My fault"I thought, "I should have looked at the clock!" She was due for a feeding and I didn't realize it when I put dinner in the oven. Thankfully David was home and he was able to assist me in getting it out of the oven with out it burning! I have also learned through all of this that we work really well as a team. When I get discouraged, he is there to encourage me to keep at it. When he feels frustrated, I am there to help him out. We work together, even when we have our differences in how things should be done.

I have also started to realize that I can't always have things my way. Sometimes I am DEAD wrong and I have been forced to eat a few pieces of humble pie in the last four weeks. Its okay. I am only human after all. In realizing this I have been forced to laugh at myself. I'm finding out really quickly that if you don't have a sense of humor about kids, life is going to be PRETTY miserable. Its okay though, being a mom is what I want and what I feel I will be good at. I'm not good at school, I'm not that great at any one particular skill, but what I AM good at is nurturing. I always have been. And with that being said I have found the Joys of Motherhood. Its very special. Its a gift we waited a long time for and one we had a lot of heart ache to get to. We love our little girl and we are proud to call ourselves her parents. She is our joy and I know one day she will do great things. I don't care what those things are, only that they will be great. God has blessed us with her and we pray deeply that she will know the love we have for her is only a fraction of what God feels for her. Its unconditional and its forever. :-)

Baby Alexandra Danielle

A week and a half ago today our world was totally changed! Allie was born June 27, 2011 at 9:57pm via c-section. What a crazy ride it was!! What started out as a routine induction turned to a c-section pretty fast. My labor failed to progress beyond 4cm and the doctor felt that I had stalled enough that I would not progress on my own with out harming myself or baby Allie. Words can not describe how frustrated, upset, and disappointed I was to have to have a quick surgery that I was not planning on. Looking back, if I knew what I know now, I would have NEVER done the induction, but given the information that my doctor told me, I thought I was doing what was best for our baby and for myself. (Perhaps I should back up and explain a little bit)

A week before the baby was scheduled to come my doctor and I met for a routine appointment. She felt that my placenta was failing and that baby was much larger than she actually was (the doctors were estimating her to be about 8lbs). In her opinion (and in mine) it was time to get the baby out. I could buy about a weeks worth of time, but that was about it without running the risk of the placenta detaching and causing a whole number of problems. We scheduled the induction and the date was set. Mom came down to help us prepare the house in the days following her birth and to offer support to myself and David during the delivery. At 12 am on June 27 I went in for the induction (stupid hour of the day!) and began pitocin as well as antibiotics for group b strep (a common bacteria in moms). After about 16hrs of labor, 12 of them after my water broke, the doctor on call brought the choice to us to have a c-section or wait a little longer, as I was not in danger, nor was Allie. We decided to give it one more go, but my body just wouldn't cooperate.

I was so disappointed and I cried knowing that my birthplan just didn't get to happen. I was taken back to the operating room where they prepped me for surgery. I kept asking for David, as I was so scared about what was happening and all I wanted was my husband to comfort me while I waited for Ale to get here. I kept shaking from the medicine and they brought David in (the anesthesiologist kept me calm in the mean time by talking to me and reassuring me we were both okay). David sat beside my head and talked to me to keep me calm until Ale was out. From there its all a blur and I don't remember much until the next day. I was so exhausted that once they put the medications in to help with the pain I pretty much slept. I'm grateful now that Ale is safe and here with us, but I wish it had gone a little differently. Nothing changes the outcome though and I am happy to have my beautiful daughter here.