I have had a very heavy heart lately concerning this topic. Its one that is very difficult to talk about, but should be more often. As you can guess from the title of this post I'm talking about Postpartum Depression.
Depression of any kind is dark, ugly, and difficult to overcome. I have struggled with the issue for years and have been medicated for it for quite some time. Its not because I'm in a dark place spiritually, and its not because I want special attention. I just have learned that its something I have to deal with, and for the most part I do a good job of coping.
With all of that being said I was unfortunate enough to have suffered from Postpartum Depression. There is NOTHING more difficult that having a new child and trying to cope with depression. I was fortunate enough to have a spouse that was educated on what to look for and I had the foresight to know I needed to be aware of it as well. I spoke with my doctor before having my daughter and asked the tough questions. I asked her if there was anything I could do after her birth to try and head it off as much as possible. I also asked her what kinds of medications I could take while nursing to help me be as high functioning as I possibly could. I'm so glad I did, because when the wave finally caught up with me; I was prepared to fight back.
With all of that being said I have faced a few challenges that many new mothers don't have to face. On top of not having the birth outcome I had envisioned, I was struggling to hold myself, my daughter and my marriage together. I felt like running from it all. In fact on more than one occasion I told my spouse I wanted to give up on everything and start over. That's when he knew I was in real trouble. We talked about it together and I (reluctantly) called my doctor to schedule a visit to see what I could do to help myself. I was already on medication (as a preventative) but they were failing me.
I'm so thankful that Doctor Eaton heard my husband's concern and talked to me about how I was feeling. She changed my medication around a little bit and suggested I take a few vitamin supplements to ease the anxiety, the stress and the feelings of inadequacy. Within a few days I was feeling back to the way I felt before our daughter was born and I was able to cope with all of the information, suggestions, and new experiences being thrown my way.
I tell you all of these things not to toot my own horn, but to share with my friends and family that are new mothers or are going to be new mothers. Its a scary feeling, but there IS help out there. I know how alone I felt when the ugly words Postpartum Depression were slung my way and I don't want other moms feeling that they are dragging themselves though the difficult journey alone. I also want other moms to feel like they have some control, especially in the world of parenting where in the early days we have so very little control over ourselves. Finally I want people to know that they can talk to me about it. I didn't have anyone that I felt I could talk to about what I was going through. Its lonely to say the least, but it can make things a little less lonely if you have someone to talk to.
