The birth of Nathaniel Josiah

WOW! Where on earth do I begin?! Our little guy is FINALLY here after what felt like the LONGEST week of my life! On May 22, 2013 at 5:19pm Nathaniel Josiah made his way into this big world quickly, wonderfully, and beautifully in the water at our midwife's cottage. I can not even put into words the beauty and challenge of the whole experience, but I will try. :-)

On May 17 sometime in the wee hours of the morning I started having contractions. I noticed it felt differently than the contractions I had been having for weeks and decided I would time them to see what they were doing. To my disappointment they were only about 15 minutes apart and still mild so I went back to bed. At about 2:30am (not quite an hour from when I finished timing contractions) I was woken up by one that was particularly strong. I turned to David and asked him what I should do. He suggested I time them again and move around for a bit to see if things changed at all. After pacing the hall for a while and having to focus through some of the contractions he and I decided to try and rest a while longer. I couldn't get comfortable though, no matter what way I tried to lay it seemed to be uncomfortable, but I decided to let David rest since I figured we would likely be in for a long day. By about 4:00am I woke David up, hearing me focusing through contractions he came to rub my back. I just KNEW at that point that something was happening! We decided to call my mom and dad to come and get Alexandra, as we were SURE that if today wasn't the day, tomorrow surely would be.

Mom and Dad came and got Alexandra while David ran his mom over to work. My contractions were still fairly mild, but were picking up in intensity. David made it back to the house in time to tell Alexandra goodbye and to load our car up. We were so excited to be starting our journey but had little idea exactly HOW long it would take to get to the final result. We decided at that point to text our midwife and let her know that things seemed to be getting into motion and that we would be in contact with her throughout the day as things progressed. We went to the gym where I could swim in the pool for a while to help things move along. Being in the water had been a true blessing my entire pregnancy and this was no exception. During that period of being in the water my contractions picked up in frequency, but not in intensity. I was thankful for this since I was ready for them to be every four minutes apart.

After the pool our midwife suggested that I get some rest for a while, since they didn't want me to be exhausted once "active" labor started. I was considered in labor by this point any how, since my contractions did have a regular pattern to them but we knew that more intense work was to come. I rested for a while and we decided to go to the mall for a while where I could walk around indoors (it had been raining off and on all day long). While there I lost my plug and started spotting some. I knew at this point there was no turning back, this baby's arrival would be soon, yet still I had no idea how much longer I would have to wait. We continued to labor through the night, David by my side supporting me when I needed it and being attentive to my needs, all the while juggling the phone calls, texts and Facebook messages I had been receiving. People started to assume something was up, as I am typically appear online most of the time, but my computer was down for this period of time so that I would not be distracted away from what I needed to focus on.

The next morning came with the same pattern and no baby. By this point I was getting frustrated that there seemed to be nothing happening. One of the midwives checked me to see how I was progressing and things were indeed moving in the right direction, although very slowly. We laughed and joked some about how most women only dream of having a labor this "easy" and David and I kept things light hearted during the day. Honestly, being checked for progress was the only thing that kept me sane during our long wait. I continued to labor on and on and on until Monday when we made the choice to go home and get some rest in our own beds, with the hopes that MAYBE I would be able to settle enough to relax and things would progress more quickly. I had one more check before baby came and I was very close to active labor. Our midwife was so encouraging and helped to convince me that my body was doing what it needed to do to have our baby naturally. Labor that is like this is called Prodromal (not sure if I spelled that correctly) and is quite normal.

On Tuesday we decided to do a few things to get labor headed more quickly in the direction of active labor. They didn't work that day, but on Wednesday it seemed to be the day. At about 8:30am I woke up for the day, showered, got dressed and went about pumping to try and stimulate harder contractions. Within a few hours it worked! David diligently sat and timed contractions. When one was 2.5 minutes long he texted the midwife from my phone saying "Two and a half minute long contraction. This is David." This text when I later read it struck me as hilarious, though honestly I am not sure why. While in the car on the way to the midwife's my contractions were every three to four minutes apart and were quite painful. I remember thinking to myself "Holy Crap! I'm going to have a baby today!!!" David said during this time I remained extremely calm, only saying occasionally "Ouch! This hurts!"

We got to the cottage and my contractions were not getting any easier to get through. David was offering me drinks, holding my hand when I needed him and generally just taking care of me when I needed him. I was content to labor on my own for a while and he would read unless I asked him to do something. At that point he would immediately put his book down and do whatever I needed of him. I am so proud of him! The birth team sat up the birthing pool for me and as soon as it was ready I slipped into the water. Almost instantly I found myself relaxing into the contractions and handling things much more easily than before. Truly the water was a God-sent for me! At some point I started to get hot and wanted out of the water for a time.

One of the midwives suggested I try a new position to help move things along and I remember being very angry with her over this. I know I said a few curse words during this time (oops! Sorry Kim!!) and even told her that I hated her. (Again sorry Kim!!) Disclaimer** I don't hate her, in fact I love all of the ladies there were there, sometimes your mouth just gets away from you when you're in labor!** All I wanted to do was lay down because it hurt so badly. I labored in the shower for a few minutes, squatting into each contraction but resisting it because it hurt. David kept telling me I couldn't lean or sit and at one point I snapped at him and said "I know David, but it hurts!" I then sat on the birth stool for a while. I leaned into David between contractions and would do my best to be forward keeping things pushing against my cervix during a contraction. At some point I got to lay down again so that they could check baby and I was given some herbs (I know arnica was one of them and something that started with a "G") to help with swelling. I had developed a cervical lip and I will be honest, that was the most challenging part of my labor.

At some point I begged to get back into the water because I was so cold. Time frame really does become relative when you are in labor. I can remember specific events, but for the life of me I did not pay attention to the clock. I know at some point David told me it was three o'clock and me telling him that I didn't care what time it was. (Sorry honey!) During my time in the water I was given Black and Blue Cohosh tincture to help strengthen my contractions. I was feeling the need to push, but because of that cervical lip I needed to work through it some more. Its true what women say about the need to push! You feel like you have to take the world's biggest poop and can't stop yourself from doing it!

Kim checked me again and this was the point where we found I needed a little help with the cervical lip. With the encouragement of David, Doran, Misty, Tiffany and Kimberly I began pushing. Tiffany and Doran helped me to hold my legs back while Kimberly helped me to push past my cervical lip. I'm not going to mince words about this, it HURT! I was able to get it mostly pushed over his head and Misty helped me the rest of the way. It was probably more painful that transition contractions, BUT lasted a whole lot shorter of a time. I remember saying "Ow! Ow! Ow! That HURTS!!" but the relief was almost instantaneous once I pushed past it.

Everyone kept encouraging me and David stayed by my head holding my hand until Doran asked him if he wanted to see his son crowning. I remember looking up between pushes to see him looking at me, camera in hand and the look of awe on his face was unforgettable. I still get misty eyed thinking about it. I, being curious, reached between my legs to feel what was going on and I could feel his head. What an incredible feeling!!! At that point I mustered everything I had in me and gave a few more pushes and he was out. He crowned so quickly he shot out of me and landed on the bottom of the pool! My original hope was to catch him as he was coming out, but since he came so quickly that just didn't happen. David witnessed it all unfold before him. He was never planning on watching the actual birth part (he was afraid he would pass out or get queasy) but somehow it happened so quickly he did.

The feeling of victory I had when I pushed him out was incredible. I have never had so much pride in something in my entire life. I remember saying "I did it! I really did it!!" and making comments about those who doubted that I could. While Alexandra's birth story is totally different from her brother's it also helped to shape Nathaniel's story and because of that I am proud of her birth too. That isn't something I could have said even a year ago.

Nathaniel did have to have a little suctioning after birth since my bag of waters broke sometime during the pushing stage and there was meconium in the water. We aren't exactly sure WHEN it happened, just that it did. He was fine though and pinked up really quickly after birth. My placenta came quickly too, so I am also thankful about that! I did have a tear (one that did not require stitches) but my recovery has been very easy so far compared to Alexandra's birth. (I will take a tear over a surgical cut any day!!) His newborn exam said everything was normal and Nathaniel is a healthy baby boy. He weighed 7pounds 10 ounces, and was 22.5 inches long.

For those of you wondering how life has been so far with two under two, I have to say it hasn't been as difficult as I had anticipated it would be, granted I'm only a week in at this point. Alexandra is my little helper and LOVES her baby brother! She is always touching him, checking on him and says "me baby" when you ask her who he is. She seems to be doing fairly well with sharing mommy, although we have had a few jealous moments. Daddy and I try to sneak in as much one on one time with her as we can so that she doesn't feel left out, especially after we have had a particularly difficult moment or two with her. We want her to make sure she knows she is still loved by both of us. I find it funny how in spite of all of my worries that Alex would feel loved, she has handled things like a seasoned pro. Both of my babies are such blessings and I look forward to watching them grow up together and seeing the differences in their personalities as time marches on. Alexandra is such a unique person and I pray and look forward to seeing the unique person Nathaniel will be.

Mother's day

Happy May everyone! I know its been a while since I have updated, but I sure hope to have some good news to share within the next few days. Baby boy Heselton is due at any moment to make his entrance into the world, though I'm not "due" until Friday my big hopes are that he will be here soon. I'll be honest, at this point in the game I'm just ready to meet our son and NOT be pregnant anymore. Yeah, I said it. I'm over it.

That being said, since it IS May I have had a few other extras to focus on. One of them being my mom's birthday (Happy Birthday Mommy!!!) and the other being Mother's Day. Its the bane of all husbands and the joy of most mother's to celebrate. Sunday happens to be that day. Part of me thinks it would be wickedly cool to have a Mother's Day baby. Wouldn't that be the ultimate gift?! I was honestly hoping for today though, since its my moms' birthday. I thought it would be an awesome way to celebrate the circle of life, but I guess he had other plans. (I still have about an hour, but unless I have an insanely fast labor, that won't be happening!!)

Back to the original intent of the post, and that was to talk about Mother's Day. I wanted to talk about the fact that there are groups of women that are so often overlooked on Mother's Day. This post is dedicated to them.  I know several of them myself and I think about them often.

First lets address the moms that are not mothers in they physical sense, but in the spiritual sense. I know one of them myself and have acted in this capacity on many occasions for girls at camp, church and just in life. These women deserve to be recognized too. They may not be your biological mothers, but they help to mold and guide young people into who they become as adults. Often times they help to shape the ideals of our youth into something spectacular that only someone who isn't a biological mother can do.

Now let's address those moms who are struggling to become moms. You know the one's I'm talking about. Moms who are navigating the adoption system just so they can make their family whole in some regard. You ladies ALSO need some serious recognition. Often times these moms are foster parents right down in the trenches with the rest of us, focusing on the lives of children who are extremely broken when they come to them. If they aren't acting in the capacity of mom as a foster parent, they are waiting for their hearts to not be so broken by their child who may be far away. Sometimes as far away as half a world. I also know moms like this, and to you I also say I am thankful!

There are the moms that are struggling to become a mom through fertility treatments too. These moms shouldn't be ignored either. You do so much to make your family complete and ignoring the fact that you are a mother too is not fair. Especially when often times it is a struggle that only the couple themselves can see. You're still a mom in my book, even if your child isn't here yet.

Finally there are those moms who suffer from loss. Be it the loss of a child at birth, while pregnant, or from some other tragic circumstance I think of you too. I have been on both sides of that fence. Its an ugly and dark place, but you deserve to be acknowledged in some way too. Your pain shouldn't be ignored on the account of those of us who have our "Happy" endings. You are still a mother.

My point of this post is to just make you aware. I read a post this week from another blogger and it really hit home about how often Mother's Day overlooks select groups of mothers. I'm not here to diminish the pride that women who are out fighting the battles daily with their own child should feel, but to put a bug in your ear to get you to think. I always make note to acknowledge loss moms on Mother's Day, but I too am guilty of forgetting the other groups of women. I have been on both sides of the fence on several of these regards (minus the foster/adoptive parent) and have often felt overlooked for what I was facing. Women are all special, especially those who take the time to love other children that are not there "own." Why shouldn't we celebrate all of them in some regard??