As you all know I am a big supporter of home birth, natural birth and going into labor on your own. As I enter into my second trimester I am thinking a lot about what my ideal birthing experience would look like. I think and re-think every possibly outcome and pray that the most positive outcome occurs. For me I chose to have a home birth with this baby for a lot of reasons. The biggest being that I felt so unfulfilled after Alexandra's birth. I didn't hold a sense of accomplishment in her birth and felt a major let down after her birth did not turn out the way I had planned it.
Alexandra's birth ended in a c-section. Something I later found out from a midwife and an OB that was not needed. I "failed to progress," code for my labor was not moving as quickly as doctors thought it should. The doctor who delivered Alexandra is well known in town for being a c-section lover, and after talking to three other mothers who had them as their OB, I questioned the importance of my c-section. I wanted to know why and I wanted to know HOW I could avoid this situation again. I wanted a normal birth, but I quickly found that my birth WAS considered normal. With that thought, I backed up and questioned WHY it was the norm and not the exception.
Why on earth were c-sections becoming the rule rather than the exception? I was highly disappointed in what I found through research, questioning my doctors and myself. I knew in my heart that the reason I was failing to progress was not because of anything physically wrong with me, but simply put my body was NOT ready to bring this child into the world yet. I tried so hard to be brave and labor without an epidural, something that I had as a goal from the beginning of my pregnancy, but Pitocin intensified my contractions. At one point I remember trying to focus, all the while my mom and husband at my side being as supportive as possible, but I could NOT see past the pain. The intensity was indescribable. By that point, I asked for an epidural in order to better focus on bringing my daughter forth into the world. BIG MISTAKE! My cervix clamped down as tightly as it possibly could.
All of these mistakes with my birth of Alexandra brought me to questions I needed answers to. I KNEW at some point I would want to birth a child at home. I just always knew that was something I wanted to do, not because it was abnormal, but because it was something I wanted to experience. I wanted to experience bringing my child into the world in the privacy of my home. I wanted to to feel safe, secure and comfortable in a setting that no matter what I did or said, I could relax. In all of these thoughts I was led to a group called ICAN- International Cesarean Awareness Network. I can NOT say enough positive things about this group!!!
Shortly before joining an ICAN support group, I found myself pregnant. Sadly we lost that baby, but it was the catalyst I needed to take control of my birthing experience. I'm not saying c-sections don't have their place. Sometimes they are MUCH needed to save a mother's life, but I also found that much of the research I found through ICAN and through independent resources was pointing to a problem with c-sections. Especially repeat c-sections. I did NOT want to be one of those women. I knew maybe there was a chance that I could still be one of these women who could birth their child in their own home.
I found that less than 1% of VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean) end in a poor outcome. And only 3% finally end in a c-section. This meant that 96% of VBAC's had positive outcomes ending in a birth the way I wanted it. I will take those odds! With a well trained professional, I found that I could have a baby at home. There are certain warning signs that mom's scar isn't doing so well and after meeting with two midwives for baby Bean I settled on one who was extremely knowledgeable in the warning signs, and had a policy that ensured safety for both myself and our child. I love the idea of having a birth at home or in a home like setting.
So to introduce to the world, baby Bean will be "due" on May 10, 2013. That being said, we are not placing much stock in the date he/she will be born. We know baby will come when they are good and ready. We look forward to sharing stories about this child as much as we do Alexandra and loving them as much as we love her. :-)
