It's about time

It's no big secret I struggle with weight. For years I have battled with my waist line. By some standards I could be considered to have an eating disorder. Though I'm not sure I'm willing to go to that extreme in labeling my love and obsession with food, I am a freely admitting I have a problem.

Here's the thing, I LOVE to eat. I love foods of all kinds. In fact, I can safely assume that I have ALWAYS liked to eat. I come from a family of excellent cooks, well meaning grandparents that overfeed, and family members that love to eat equally as much as I do. Heck, most of our family gatherings growing up involved food in some capacity or other. Simply put, I can't escape food, and frankly who would want to?!

So what's a girl like me to do when they want to find a healthy balance between food and life? Limiting calories didn't work, I always walked away hungry and I was cranky at the end of the day. Gluten free didn't work. It was far too difficult for me and my family HATED it. Vegetarianism? Forget it! I love me some meat! Atkins? Nope! Not gonna work, I enjoy eating fruit too much. Weight Watchers? Too time consuming, not cost effective and I never felt satisfied. See my dilemma?

New on the scene in many churches, women's study groups and dieters circles is a program called Trim Healthy Mama. Dare I try it? Could this be the answer I have been looking for to shed the unwanted weight, feel healthy again and still satisfy my family? So I got the book starting on Sunday evening and have been giving it a good read through. I have to say, so far I am enjoying the read, have found myself to agree with **most** of the information and have seen plenty of success stories to feel like it is worth an honest try.

The kicker, NO FOOD GROUP IS OFF LIMITS! I am praying that through working through the book, learning this style of eating and LOTS of focus I am able to shed the weight. What's more is that I am deeply praying that I can lift the bondage food has held over me for years. I'm not sure why, but food has always been a coping mechanism for me. It's the way I deal with emotional situations and it's my way of avoiding what is truly bothering me.

Now for me to be this transparent with you, there is something one should understand. As a general rule, when it comes to my eating habits I am not very honest with myself. It is painful to be this transparent but it's something I am learning I NEED to be more honest about. I will never overcome this sinful mentality about food (often bordering on gluttonous) if I don't share with others what i'm really struggling with.

I'm a control freak too. Being unable to control 100% of my life, my children's behavior or other people's behavior drive me crazy. Food IS the one thing I CAN control. I have had an unhealthy relationship with food for years and that HAS to stop or I am going to eat myself into an early grave. For the sake of my children and husband I just can't do that. There are certain people and situations in my life that make it worse. Frankly, the fact that I march to the beat of my own drum creates some of those situations.

My husband doesn't quite understand either. Oh, he TRIES to understand, but unless you have had a power struggle with food or emotional eating, it's difficult for people to understand. But I'm prayerfully letting it go. Did you read that? I'M LETTING IT GO! Food will no longer have the power of me.

Does that mean I am going to stop eating or enjoying food? No way! God made me to enjoy food and he made food enjoyable for his people. That's why we can't survive on just water, sunshine or the air! We HAVE to have food. So why not enjoy it? Why not find joy in it again? With some hard work, lots of prayer and a little encouragement I can and WILL do this! It's about time after all.